My cat, 'who' suffered from cancer 6 months ago finally breathed his last yesterday night. I said 'who' and not 'which' cos i find it wrong to lump animals together with inanimate objects. animals deserve 'who'. ok, i m tokin nonsense. so, last night, i spent an hour crying. ling had trouble comforting me cos i tink he might not understand how i feel as he is not as obsessed wif animals as me.  i tink he is like wondering y i can cry like dat over an animal.

i tink u guys noe dat if i see humans dying on the news or tortured, i'd haf no emotions. that time, i even saw a man dead on the road, wif blood cos of an accident and i still dun haf any emotions towards that guys. but, if i see an animal injured, dying or tortured in the news, i would shout at my ling to change the channel cos i refuse to watch that news. i noe dat if i watch, i would cry and even ling wouldnt be able to comfort me then.

I am not sure if my cat passed away only after my 'visit'. I admit, i am not close to this cat cos he is often locked up in my mom's rm. but he is very very manja to people. so, last night, i decided to visit him.  he used to be big and fat but last night, i finally saw the effect of cancer on him. he was juz bones and his fur was falling off. i stroked him to see if he was alive cos he seemed to be sleeping but he gave a squeak to tell me dat he was alive.

ok, i m starting to cry now... sighz...

den after visiting him, i asked my mum if we shud put him down to end his suffering but my mum refused cos she wants him to die naturally. i m so frustrated wif my mum cos it was her dat my cat ended up wif dis condition. she was the one who reported to me about his injury late and we ended up sending him to a vet too late. his injury, which was minor became cancerous. 

for the next two hours after the visit, i told ling dat i had a sinking and bad feeling and it wasnt really about my cat cos i tot he would still be alive for the next week or so. i tot it was juz me cos i told ling dat i need to see counsellor. this is bcos at times i feel dat something is not wrong without knowing wat was wrong. like, if i go shopping or when i m eating, my heart can suddenly sink and i would feel that something is not right. i thought i haf emotional problems and i need to see a doctor for that. i even told ling that mebe i shud start taking vallium.

den, i decided to go out of my rm and i cant even remember why i went out. but soon after stepping out of my rm, i realised that my mum and dad were walking about in a rushed manner. i asked them wat was wrong and dat was when my mum told me dat my cat passed away.

right now, my mum is chit chatting happily wif my aunt over the phone but here i am crying as i m typing this blog.

i noe he is juz a cat but i feel that animals deserve to be on earth more than humans cos they are innocent. humans are forever committing sins and bringing misery to others. worse, humans can think but animals cant. when they die, i dun even noe if they get to go to a better place. 

i hope that my cat is really at peace now. i m gonna miss him. i told ling that, if it were cik cik (my fat female cat) who died, i tink i wun be able to take e news cos i m very very close to her. 

i hate myself for loving animals so much. but as a compensation, at least i'd be emotionless when it comes to humans and deaths.

This couple of days, i went to u-noe-where from 8 to 5. so, i get to meet 'professionals' like myself (cheh...) and i was kinda taken aback at wat i observed.

in contrast, everywhere i went, i saw LV, Liz Clairborne, Coach, Bonia, Gucci, Prada.... goodness.... so many of them haf those things such that my $50 Carlo Rino bag attracted more attention than others and of course my $20 mondo shoes attracted attention too.

den, wats the pt of buying expensive stuffs? i m not sure if they bought fakes though... then, it will be more worth it. at least u dun spend $800 on sth which pple juz pass over cos it is juz too common and is no longer a symbol of status. but i tink liz clairborne is still quite acceptable. not many pple carry them as compared to Gucci and Coach.

Nonetheless, i bought ling Bonia stuffs for our 3rd yr anniversary. i m such a sucker. i said i m not getting him any gifts, but yet my hands r so itchy, i go and buy something for him but it was so hard to resist!! the packaging was nice (a very very nice box), the belt buckle is very elegant and the wallet is uncommon. there's a surprise compartment for the wallet some more. i din even noe Bonia has a line for men lah... ling said Bonia is for auntie-suntie. so now, who is the auntie2?? khekhe... but i assured him dat if he wears Bonia stuffs, he would be one of the few men in Singapore that would be wearing them. Hehehe...

the gorgeous casing, which is way much better that wat braun buffel had to offer me

oh yah, i finally bought my spa package!!! now, i haf 10 1-hr massage sessions at Body Wellness. Honestly, i dun tink their massages are to die for but 1 session is only $55 which was offered when the lady saw how reluctant i was to take their packages. den, when i asked if she could throw in a free scrub, she said yes!! yeay... so now i m on e way to become makcik makcik already... the outlet i went to wasnt that nice... i went to the one at stamford court. decor was ok ok onli lah... so i m planning to go to the other outlets and see see.... anyway, if u guys wanna go for the massage for $55 onli, juz call me lah. it is transferable. if i get rid of the 10 session quickly, i can also change spas quickly and buy some other packages. ;)

This was e grp of peeps i sat wif. I had such a hard time getting someone to take pic for us cos I was so scared dat the person I asked is a minister or a CEO or an ambassador or some big shot or sth. So scary....

I was seated at the VIP table!!!! (hehe...) This table alone had 3 women who has done well academically, 2 judges (i think), one super young female entrepreneur (younger den me by 3 yrs!), baya's sis (who was given a special mention in the speech made for that night), a lady who won an award and an impt person for the pple of Geylang. yikes!! i was like some kucing kurap sey... but no offence to kucing kurap, i love all kucing whether or not they haf kuraps.

 but it doesnt sound so bad. baya's sis, me and a couple of the girls are so kecoh. the impt lady of geylang sat beside me and i had a nice time chit chatting wif her.

Baya's sis referred to him as Pakcik Yaakob. Sajer jer... haha!! i told her to get duit rayer from him or can go visiting to his house. haha!! anyway, he was the host of the event and I m grateful to him for hosting it.

I juz realised that some pple are not able to detect ling's sarcasms. Unlike me, ling hides his sarcasms by making jokes. U may laugh wif him without realising that the joke was actually related to u. He once said that that is how he tries to maintain a good relationship and yet get his points across.

that time, i told him that that manner to get things across will not work effectively. cos some pple juz dun get it and it is not even their fault for not getting it! i tink i may have been his victim a few times but i m not sure cos i also belong to the majority of pple who dun get his sarcastic jokes cos all i hear are jokes without sarcasms throwing at anybody.

i tink i m well-known for somebody who is against bringing partners in friends-gathering events unless they haf good reasons for doing so. but not many pple noe dat ling is as against it as me even though he tries to give hints in his comments. ling is as frustrated as me when pple start bringing partners to these events. next week, one of his very close group of frens might be bringing her tunang and i tink his plan is to see how much the tunang can take it. not sure if he is going to drive the tunang away wif his sarcasms, which i tink is not going to work if he always make jokes.

i dunno, perhaps his tactic is better than mine. at least, he is talking abt that person right in front of the person himself. whereas my tactic is juz to kp quiet and den vomit everything in this blog, this is one of the reasons y i dun wanna jln raya on the 11th, besides being super tired and busy. ling tot i din wanna go cos i was ashamed to face some of dem. Errrr..... totally wrong. I haf super thick skin. i m one of those pple who fell on e butt in public, vomited in front of the principal, haf my belt dropped in a crowded restaurant and yet pull a very normal face as if nothing happens wif no blushes at all. Hehe... 

i told ling dat i juz dun wan to cari dosa cos i cant control my thoughts and actions. so, rather than getting myself into situations that i m not comfortable in, might as well i avoid them. last yr i din wanna go for the same reason but i went in e end and i wished i hadnt. all cos ling wanted me to go. dis yr, he asked me to go again or else he'd be lonely cos other pple bringing partners. but i am not going to make the same mistake. also, wat lonely??? i see him 3 times a week and he'd be surrounded by frens on dat day! that is if the frens are not over-layaning their partners.  lalala...  not sure if my nj raya will be partner-free. i hope so. but who m i to control pple's actions. mebe faiz might bring his, not sure. if dats the case, i wonder if we can be as bimbotic and crazy as our past jalan rayas but i tink his wife already noe abt that. haha!. but... i dun tink e other nj peeps bringing partners lah...  it will be odd if anyone of us does... ;)

anyway, on the 10th i will get to go to Istana and meet my prince charming. yeay...

I got a TITUS watch!!! (i could make fun of the name of this brand but it wouldnt sound nice cos it involves one of the female's body parts. lalala...)

Happy 3rd yr anniversary ling!!! Klah, it was on 1st oct. Sorry, belated. hehehe... So, when he asked wat i wan, i told him i wan a watch. I mean, the last time i got a watch was like a yr ago which is my Swatch watch cum bracelet. It's time to get a new one. Things like watches, wallets need to change yearly one. Things like bags, three times a yr. Things  like shoes, every other mth. hehe...

so, I chose this watch. I m not into bling blings actually. I dun really love and crave for diamonds or diamond-like things. I feel that it is too eye-catching and is annoying when the sun reflects it. However, when i saw this watch, surprisingly, not only is the slimness of the face attracts me but i was attracted to the bling blings too. i was actually looking for a watch that is versatile - that is, it can be worn casually and formally, just like my GUESS watch. but, the idea of wearing bling blings when in jeans and shirt kinda sound interesting. furthermore, the watch comes wif straps of two clours - white and black. i can wear the white one for casual look and the black one for an elegant look. cool huh?

in case u r wondering wat i got for ling. i got for him nothing. this one, another story. in short, i wanted to get him a super nice BRAUN BUFFEL belt cos he is into branded stuffs (not moi) and yet he could ask me in a commanding manner, "why buy a belt that is so expensive?" i felt that he has no right to question my choice of gift. it is not like it is super duper ugly that he wun wear it. i haf my reason too. e reason is that i noe if i had gotten ling dat belt, he'd keep the buckle for at least 5 yrs, which is worth my money. the leather would be longer lasting too.

so, i got fed up and decided not to get for him anything cos i had wasted precious hours and energy trying to get him dat gift but was rewarded wif unappreciative comments.

As usual, my dad juz had to make this hari raya a memorable one. Last yr I was pissed at him for throwing his temper at me when he was e one at fault. Even my uncle had to come down and had a talk with me.

This yr, he made me pissed off again by inviting my wheelchair bound aunt, uncle and maid to stay at my house for months. Not only me lah... my mum also super pissed. He did not discuss wif the family or wat. My house is like super tiny and u wan to squeeze 3 more pple. Then ah, my house dun haf the lift on every floor yet. So how to get that aunt up and down the stairs? Also, from experience, my mum said, usually the temporary stay will bcum permanent. 

I told my mum dat if the plan goes through, i will stay at my second sis house while looking for a place to rent. I m old enough to afford to rent my own rm. I juz dun haf to gif my dad the monthly money, can already. I haf waited 13 yrs to haf a room of my own. My privacy wun be easily taken away from me. My mum also said that she will leave the house if they come to stay wif us. we r talkin abt 3 pple, mind u. so, he got my aunt excited and my aunt turned to me and said she wants to live wif me but i m not even close to her! My first sis is much closer to her. i tink she wans to stay wif me juz bcos my face appeared in the newspaper. e thing is, i m not even sure i'd like my parents to stay wif me when i haf my own house, wat makes her tink i m gonna let my relatives stay wif me?? den ah, i m NOT going to share rm wif my sis again. We are much happier now. Ironically, the relationship between me and my sisters got better after we got our own rm and houses. I can joke wif dem now and tok to dem abt problems. Last time when we shared the same rm, we cant see eye to eye at all.

i may sound super mean ah... she did discipline my dad in e past cos my dad is forever gettin into trouble. she also did help my dad financially in e past. he ALWAYS make unwise decisions u see... but i feel dat there are always other ways of helping her out. staying wif us and making it inconvenient for both parties is not the best solution at all. sigh.. i juz wish my dad will get wiser each yr. but dats not gonna happen at all. niwae, my mum called my dad's other sisters and they talked to my dad already. so far, my dad made no mention of getting them to stay wif us. GOOD. the moment they step into house, OUT i go. i may sound dramatic, but if you are in my place for the past 23 yrs, u'd understand the battles i haf to go thru while staying in this house. sigh...

I cant say the 'anak daras' any more cos two of them are already married.

somehow, our baju colours are the same!

This is my swt cuzzin. I was amazed at his attentiveness bcos when i reached home, i received sms from him askin me to take care of myself since i wasnt feelin well and i wondered how he knew i was sick. he replied saying dat i mentioned my nose was leaking. he is like super eligible bachelor lah. he is takin deg in physics in NUS and is now in the dance club. will see him this sunday!!!